Up
here in the Northeast, you can gauge how bad a winter is by how many
times
you’ve fallen on the ice.So far this
year the number is two, which is worse than usual for this point in the
season.
I
still remember the first time I slipped on the ice up here.It was during my first winter, and I was
living in a triple decker in Belmont
with a really narrow driveway.(For
those of you in the rest of the country, a triple decker is the
Northeast’s
alternative to apartment complexes, not a heart attack waiting to
happen at
Hardee’s.)Because of some ill-placed
shrubs, it was actually kind of awkward getting to and from the door of
the
car, and one winter’s night after work I lost it trying to negotiate
the narrow
passage.Out went my feet from under me,
and down I went, right on my side. Ow.If the neighbors were home, I’m pretty sure
they must have thought I was in the navy.I had a bruise on my hip for a week.
It’s
funny how fast it happens.One minute
you’re walking along, thinking about whatever, and before you know it
you’re
down on the ice wondering what the hell?
Our
first place in Norwood
had this concrete sidewalk that for whatever reason would always freeze
over
before everything else.It was really
treacherous, because the ice was basically transparent, and it would
materialize from out of nohwere. It was as if as soon as
the temperature even got close to freezing, all the moisture in the air
would
condense on the concrete and freeze, setting a trap for us just so the
universe could enjoy a cosmic
laugh at our expense.The landlord was
good about putting down salt, but there were still times when we took
the dogs
out for a walk before she got to it.As
you might guess, nothing sabotages your own stability more than holding
the
leash of a stir-crazy dog whose four paws are all sliding out from
under him in different
directions.
Given
that falls often have fatal consequences for old people, it makes you
wonder if
the people who track statistics observe any effect. Is life
expectancy shorter up here? (I'm betting yes.) Are there more
contusions, concussions, and
broken limbs during the winter? (Almost certainly.) There’s
a reason why so many retirees flock to Florida
after spending their whole lives slogging it out up here, and it’s not
just the
temperature.