blue laws.
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One of the many things
that took me by
surprise when I moved to Massachusetts is the fact that they have blue
laws here. I live in a dry town, so I actually have to drive over
the border to Cambridge if I want to pick up a six pack or a bottle of
wine. Now, I grew up in the south from the time I was nine, so
I'm
well acquainted with the phenomenon. I can remember being amazed
when we moved to Houston that certain parts of the store were cordoned
off on Sundays. Even though it really never affected me, it
struck
me as inconceivably, inexcusably stupid. I guess I just always
figured
it was one of those backward southern things that goes along with
living
in the bible belt; I never expected to run into the same thing in
the liberal, enlightened northeast.
But, sure enough, every
Sunday morning
when I stop by the Star Market, the beer and wine section is all closed
off. Which means if I want to buy something I have to (a) make a
second trip during the week, or (b) go out of my way to hit the liquor
store just over the border on my way home from work. Not only do
both of these options require extra effort, they also violate my
general
strategy to do things (commuting, laundry, shopping...) when other
people aren't
doing them. I like going to the grocery store on Sunday
mornings,
when the store isn't teeming with people and the parking lot isn't
packed.
You've got to figure these
are the kind
of laws that are left over from the days when you could shoot someone
for
stealing your horse. There's just no good reason at all
why
I should have to drive over to the next town to buy a six pack, or why
I shouldn't be able to buy one on Sunday. But of course no
politician
would ever have the nerve to propose doing away with these idiotic
laws,
lest he be revealed as a spineless supporter of sin to the teetotaler
bible-thumping
nimrod crowd. And, as we found out in the 2000 election,
teetotaler
bible-thumping nimrods vote.
It's 2003, 2003!, and I can't buy beer on Sunday. Granted, I've never been
much of a drinker,
so it's not like it should be that big a deal to me. It's just
that
it's so infuriating...why should the local government be able
to
arbitrarily decide I can buy certain things any time of the week except
for certain hours on Sunday? And it's not like they're giving
working
people a day of rest, either...someone in the supermarket still has to
cover the Sunday shift, regardless of whether the beer and wine section
is open. In fact, I'll bet the store actually loses money because
of the blue laws, thanks to people like me who end up going somewhere
else
some other time during the week.
When I'm king,
there will be no
more blue laws. And, you'll only be allowed to purchase Stryper
CDs
between midnight and 2:00 am on Tuesdays. With proper ID.
Let's
see how they like it...
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